Has successfully leveled up 7 characters on World of WarCraft all the while still perfecting the 3 chords needed to start a rock band. Supposedly has received a Pre-Qualified, Early Acceptance letter to possibly become the next member of Mötley Crüe, but says he will wait to hear about the Dental plan before making any rash decisions. Authenticity of letter has yet to be verified. Wishes he lived in the 1960s and was the lead singer of The Rolling Stones and had moves like Jagger instead of being just some poor singing orphan.
Awesome and (sometimes) Guitar. Would rather play for the Philadelphia Eagles than deal with that Southside bar owner again. Although he once sent a letter to the Denver Broncos offering his left nut and an autographed Slash Guitar to join the team. Will drop, leave, or move his guitar in any situation he deems necessary. Fist-fought a bottle of Bud cuz it looked at him weird. Has a pretty good vertical jump and voted “Most Likely fall off stage, drown in pee, or wake up a super hero cape in a 3rd world county” by the other members in the band. Once lost his cell phone 37 times in one day.
Star Wars guru and the OCD member of the band. He made "second place" in Nationals for "Cable Placement & Management" (aka Darth Velcro). In his spare time, he models for Hair Conditioner ads in many popular Car, Driver and Hotrod magazines. Good at tune ups and changing brakes. Hates that he’s good at tune ups and changing brakes. Currently saving for his chance to bid on a rare Boba Fett action figure that supposedly has a Torch Wrench instead of a laser firing side arm.
Star Cowboy, legendary 80s hair metal drummer, attacks the kit like he’s dodging a UFO tractor beam. While most drummers count beats, he’s counting alien abductions and probing government cover-ups between double-bass blasts. This ufology-obsessed cowboy shares his tour bus with two dogs, Boo and Penny, plus his pet cow Piggy — who’s convinced she’s the band’s actual bassist and judges everyone’s playing with a disapproving moo. Still rocking bigger hair than most satellites and faster hands than a Men in Black chase scene. If the drums go silent, it’s probably because he’s outside yelling at the sky again.
The only one who can actually read music and still look lethal in six-inch heels and enough Aqua Net to shellac a small city. Has successfully negotiated the band out of three bar bans and one near-riot using nothing but winged eyeliner and pure intimidation. Can shred blistering synth solos while texting the next gig, fixing her bangs, and side-eyeing Billy for dropping his guitar again. Once dropkicked a glitching keytar off stage after it betrayed her mid-solo and still made it look like part of the choreography. Secretly saving for a pink vintage Hammond organ and wishes she was touring with Heart instead of babysitting these hairspray disasters. Voted “Most Likely to Keep This Whole Mess From Imploding” by the rest of the band (they still haven’t told her).